From a Daughter’s Heart
Allyson, Rett, Donna & Don Wickard
In the summer of 2020, God called me to have faith and peace that surpasses understanding, and certainly in bigger quantities than I had ever imagined I had in me. Growing up in the church and at a Christian school I was always taught your faith is what pulls you through and your peace is a gift from above that will carry you. I had taken my faith as my own and always prayed to God for really anything and everything. It was not until the summer of 2020 the Lord called me to truly put all my faith and peace in Him like I never had before. It isn’t until something BIG comes along that you have to stop and make a decision to follow God, or your human side.
On July 14, 2020, the journey to my life being changed forever began. I came home that afternoon and saw that Brian had come home. I knew my dad was sick and this was not a good sign. Brian was there to support me and share the news that my dad was headed to the hospital. My heart sank and I immediately called my mom as they were on the way to the ER. I was panicked, mad, sad and fearful. Mom and Dad both told me to calm down and take care of myself, Rett and sweet Mason who was completely dependent on me staying calm. Brian was my rock and stayed calm even though he also felt the pain I did for my dad as he had a wonderful 14-year relationship with him.
After a time of many tears I knew I had to call my OB and explain I had been exposed to pneumonia and Covid. She was just one angel on earth out of several that God provided for me. She kept me calm, checked my vitals and Mason almost daily. She prayed for me, my family and checked in on me often. She knew as days passed that I too had Covid, but wanted to keep me calm. I was in 100% denial that I had it, but my symptoms were classic. Thankfully I was ok and all stayed level for me to stay home.
I prayed fervently for God to heal my dad and be with his caregivers in our absence. During those days of not being able to be with my dad or my mom (who also was in Covid quarantine) I had an unbelievable amount of peace, a peace that can ONLY come from God. If you know me well, I am not the first person to call in a crisis. I clearly heard God say, “You have ALWAYS said you believe in me, you pray to me and you honor my will.” This was all true, but I had never been in a position where I could not do anything! We all know we pray and at times our brain tells us we are “doing something to help.” God knows He is in control. I had an amazing peace about me. You can ask my family and my life-long friends, one being Lexie Scarborough Futrell, that my calmness was not my usual self. I would call and talk to Mom daily and at times multiple times. I spent a ton of time in my backyard walking and praying. That was also where I had my last conversation with my dad on the phone. He told me to be strong, stay calm and take care of Mom and our family. We knew our love was everlasting and we had no regrets in our relationship. He taught me that God was in control and that if I would lean on Him, He would take care of us better than anyone. I knew God heard my prayer. I also knew He told me that He loves my family more than I do. That is really hard for us to imagine, but He does. Those of you who know our family also know we would never be apart in a time like this. We love and support each other if it means staying all night by each others’ side. Many of our sweet friends from church and other walks in life called us, sent us treats, dinner and even gifts for Rett to help entertain him. God provided me an army to hold us up here on earth while He took care of my heart, soul and mind.
The day we knew my sweet dad was not going to be on earth with us any longer, I knew God had answered me, but I didn’t like His answer. I also knew heaven was all of our goal and for some reason God called him home on July 24, 2020. God knew I would be expecting sweet Mason and he knew my sweet Rett would not understand. I asked God to somehow give Rett’s heart peace. One morning Rett came in and said, “Mom, I saw and talked to YaYa last night!” Being shocked, but knowing this was God, I asked him what he looked like. He said, “He was beautiful!” God had answered my prayer for Rett to have peace. After Mason was born I went through many emotions. God revealed himself to me quickly. My sweet friend Katie Baccus knew many medical professionals who helped my dad in the hospital and told me they were the best and even prayed over him. This was another sign I knew God had answered my prayer, but differently than we had all hoped. Our entire family and many friends were in shock and very sad. We do know that God is still on His throne and will walk with us in days of pain.
After I delivered Mason I worked through many emotions, and some I am still working through. There were times of regret and feeling I did not act enough on my dad’s behalf, feelings of deep grief that Mason would not know on earth the love of his YaYa. Rett would miss his YaYa deeply and wish for him at the first t-ball game. God has a perfect plan and we must lean on Him to find out the story He has written for us. I have had 5 friends who have lost parents recently for one reason or another. If I can be a strength to them as well that is just one way God is using this tragedy to His glory. I had the gift of time with my dad and how beautiful that gift was to me. I am beyond blessed to have a dad to be proud of who taught me so many things, but loved me unconditionally first and foremost. I still talk to my dad when I get my oil changed, drive on the highway or help mom water the yard. He is watching and is the best guardian angel Rett, Mason, Taylor and Grayson could ever have. We live in the sunshine of his life and all the beautiful memories. Save a place for us up there dad! You are forever in our hearts!