Loving

Message Transcription

Well, if you have your Bible, I invite you to turn over to the passage that Nick read for us just a couple of minutes ago. John chapter 13. That's going to be the text that we're going to live in together this morning. By way of reminder, we are in a series called Imperfect Disciples. We've been watching Jesus and listening closely for those qualities, those characteristics that that can help us to become the kind of men and women that God has called us to be his kind of people. And so we've been thinking some kind of the premise of this whole series was built upon this phrase from Dallas Willard that I hope you're hearing it every week. I hope it's sinking in that the main thing God gets out of our lives are not the achievements that we accomplish, but the person that we become. At The most important thing about the life that you are living now is not what you're going to do, but it's who you're becoming. And so we want to take this really seriously. So we've been looking some at some of the qualities that we see in the life of a Disciple. One of the books that's been so helpful to me personally, in fact, I keep commending it to you just because it has been so meaningful to me is emotionally healthy Discipleship by Peter Chazaro as he's talked and challenged us with these words that you can't be spiritually mature and remain emotionally immature.

Those two things don't coexist, that we have to be the kind of people who wrestle with and who struggle with, that we might become more fully who God is calling us to be. So with that in mind, we began in week one talking about what it means to be a disciple that's slow, that slows down and tries to embrace the life that God has given to us. Not trying to do more for God than our life with God can sustain. And week two we talked about intentionality, that God's helping us to become more intentional about rejecting the way of the world and embracing the way of Jesus. Then we talked in week three about we're limited. God has given us the gift of limits that we live in a time and a place in a season of life, that God has given us some limits. And so our challenge as disciples is learning to discern one of those limits, inviting me to to rest in God and one of those limits, actually, I'm being challenged to step out, to be courageous, to be bold. Last week we talked some about how God is teaching us to be long suffering, that no matter what happens, no matter who we are, we all experience grief and loss and pain. And so we watched Jesus learn to pay attention to the pain. To hear from it, too.

To learn how to live in the midst of it. To think about waiting in the confusion that sometimes when we experience pain, we're not sure where it's coming from and why it's there. But but learning to be patient, to wait on God and recognizing that out of that pain, often this old birth, something new that our losses and our griefs and our pains are real and we want to not pretend that that's not true. But as followers of Jesus, we also know the resurrection is real. And if that's true, then it says something differently about the losses and how we grieve those things, knowing this is not the end of our story. Today I want us to look at what it means to be disciples who are loving. Now, for many of you, that sounds like Captain. Obvious kinds of stuff, right? I mean, if I had asked you at the beginning of this series to say, list out all the kinds of qualities that you think Jesus would want us to embrace and to live out loving would probably be right at the top of your list, if not at the top of your list. But if we're honest, how true. This may be one of the most challenging to embrace, to be a kind of people who is intentional about loving. Sessera writes in his book. Some of the challenges that he experienced, he and his wife in learning to love one another as they entered into ministry.

Together, he shares a lot about their church and how it exploded in growth and opportunities to reach people. And yet, he said, What I noticed that over time was we were deepening in our understanding and our desire to love God, but it was not translating in our love for people, our love for others. Maybe that resonates with you some. Sometimes you find yourself more and more in love with God and more and more annoyed with bothered by having a difficult time dealing with people. What do we do? How do we deal with that? Pete noticed. He says that the kind of love that was being expressed inside of his church wasn't all that different from what he was seeing going on in the world. And he looked out a number of ways. I wanted to share some of these with you to see if any of them resonated with you like they did with me, he said. We didn't know what to do with anger or sadness. We were afraid of being honest in our relationships, really telling people the truth. We avoided conflicts and wanted to be perceived as nice people. We often said yes when we really wanted to say no, and we made assumptions about what other people were thinking without checking them out. We over functioned doing for others what they could and should do for themselves. Then this sound familiar to you? Maybe now you understand why Peter challenged us to say you can't be spiritually mature and remain emotionally immature.

And one of the great challenges of being a disciple is learning how to love God and to love others and then to live that out in practical ways. In fact, Jesus modeled this to us so beautifully, just a few verses down from the passage where we're going to be sitting in today. We hear Jesus command to say that this will actually be the defining quality characteristic. Of my disciples. And when the world looks at you and they see how you treat other people. That is going to be the quality, this quality of love that designates that that demonstrates you are a disciple of Jesus, a new command I give you. He says, love one another as I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples. Imperfect as you may be by this everyone will know you're my disciple if you love one another. So as followers of Jesus, we want to take this seriously, this challenge and this opportunity. One of the things that he writes and I think is so true, that we want our discipleship to Jesus to show up in our relationships. Meaning we want the the reality that we follow a crucified and resurrected Lord to show up in how we treat people, to show up in how we interact with those that God brings us into contact with each week.

I wish we had time to dive into all that that Scudero points out in this chapter. But again, I just point you to to read through it this week, but a couple of things that I wanted us to see and to wrestle with. If he invites us to say this is one of the at the heart of this challenge is learning to see people as people, not as objects to be used or manipulated for our own purpose. But but learning how to treat others as someone who was made in the image of God, who is loved by God, as someone who Jesus died for, as someone who Jesus was raised back to life for. That's so often in our world. We do things. We get these messages. Sometimes they're spoken, sometimes they're unspoken, and they begin to infiltrate. An impact, how we engage with other people around us. Some like this. It is bad that we have differing views. You must see the world the way that I do. And I can't stay in relationship with you if you continue believing the wrong things. Now, I know none of us has ever maybe said that out loud to someone in relationship with, but how many of us have felt this or at least felt the draw toward this to say, Well, if you keep believing that, if you keep living that way and doing those things, well, then we can no longer be in relationship together.

You see, when these ideas begin to take root in our hearts and in the heart of our church, not only are they not healthy in a mature way of viewing others, but they're also one of the main reasons that when Christians are asked, or rather when non-Christians are asked to describe Christians in one word, what's the most common word? That they say. Less judgmental. Barna has shown this over and over and over again. So instead, Pete offers us three questions. He says, Could we use these three questions to help us kind of process through How do we learn to see people as people once again? How do I learn to engage with other people in a different way? Question one is, am I fully present or distracted? Number two. Am I loving or judging? And number three, am I open or closed to being changed? I'll take a look at each of these questions real quickly, and then I want to jump into the passage, kind of view it in light of these questions. But this first one, am I fully present or distracted? A research shows over the last couple of decades that we have gotten worse and worse at having personal one on one face to face conversations. Now, if any of you have ever been to the grocery store, you can see this, right? We have a hard time looking at other people in the eye and talking with them.

A technology has infiltrated all aspects of our culture and it's so easy to get distracted. In fact, some of you are distracted right now looking at your phones because there's so much happening. It's hard to it's hard to maintain. Am I being distracted or am I able to be fully present with those who are around me? We did a series a couple of years ago called Connected three D, where we talked some about how to balance technology in the midst of relationships. One of the catchphrases that we still, at least in our house use to this day is disconnect to connect. Disconnect to connect. Find a way to set down that technology, that distraction, in order to learn to connect more deeply with the people around us. One of the ways that we help remind ourselves of another person's humanity is we learn to be present fully with them. The second thing is, am I loving or am I judging? Again, Barna research shows the number one answer that non-Christians give about what it's like to be in a relationship with Christians about describing Christians as judgmental. And if we're honest. It's kind of right when they got a point, don't they? Now, again, Scudero writes out a whole list of different ways that we judge. These were just a few that stood out to me.

Maybe they'll stand out to you or prompt others. He says We tend to judge our spouses for not doing life our way. Now, I know nobody here in Broadway does that, but you can imagine how that spousal relationship can get a little complicated. Or we judge our close friends when their politics don't match up with ours or our coworkers for not doing their job as well as they should or we think they should. We judge other faith people of other faiths or even atheists agnostics for not following Jesus as Savior and Lord. We may not say that out loud, but how many of us operate with that kind of mindset running? Or we judge people for their different social class or race or ethnicity or appearance or education. Or we judge people when they make typos in the slides that everybody sees. And you're looking at it right now and you're judging me. All right. There are all different levels, right, in which we judge other people. And by judging them, it actually helps us create these groups so that I can feel better about why I don't love you. Because you're one of them. Because you do that kind of thing, because you believe that. And it makes it easier for me to distance myself. And if I can create some distance, then I don't have to be present. I can I can make some cast some aspersions on you.

And I can sink back into my lovelessness my judgmental ways. Now, again, by judging. It's not just that we're not having an idea of wise living, but rather this idea of moral superiority. I'm so glad I'm not like them. And we can find all way all kinds of ways to separate ourselves. But it keeps us from helping create the reality or rather see another person as human. If I want to dehumanize you, then I just find our differences and I really accentuate those and I start to judge you on those. What if we didn't do that to each other? Now, some of you say, well, Karl, aren't we supposed to be different? Are we supposed to challenge the predominant views of the world? Aren't we not just supposed to take on whatever other people think and act like it's okay and everybody's okay? And aren't we just okay? Well, yes, sure, sure. Yeah, we definitely want everyone to come to know a God who loved them so much. He was willing to send his only son. He was willing to to give up everything. Jesus was willing to set aside all power and prestige and authority to incarnate into the world. We want everyone that we encounter to know that. But our mission is not to judge. Even if it means standing up for the truth. And that's a hard one. When we judge, we turn people into objects.

The guy is the only one wise enough to make judgments. We need to leave that up to him. Instead of entering a conversation with those judgments, What if we began to try to take a posture of curiosity? Help me understand that. I've not heard that before. Where did that come from? Where did you learn that? Tell me more. Not only that, he says the third question in my open or closed. To being changed. Now, for those of us who have spent any amount of time in church, this may be the toughest one to swallow because we're thinking change. I don't want to change my beliefs. I don't want to change my value. I'm not going to acquiesce to the social pressures going on all around me. Well, yes, that's true. But if we come to a conversation. And we have no openness to change or to learning something new. What we've created is not a dialogue, but a monologue. I have something to say that you need to hear. And if you won't hear it, and if you won't reciprocate, and if you won't accept it, then I'm not interested in what you have to say. Am I open to the possibility that God might have something for me to learn in this in this interaction? Now may not mean I change my view on a particular issue or idea. But maybe it changes my view on a person whom God created in his own image and whom God loves very dearly.

Am I open to being changed, entering a conversation with this humble posture? I. So now imagine these three questions being at the heart of this passage where we find Jesus here in Chapter 13 of John's Gospel. Again. Jesus. It's the night of his betrayal. Jesus is about to get handed over to the authorities. He's going to be treated horribly over the next 12 to 18 hours. He's going to be nailed to a cross, stripped naked and hung out for the world to see. Jesus knows this is coming. In fact, he's been telling his disciples, this is going to happen. And they've been at different levels, varying levels of ability to accept it, to acknowledge it and to to move forward with it. But he knows that's coming. That night, it has finally arrived and we find Jesus now is at dinner that evening. He's getting ready to share a meal with those who are about to betray him. And John starts us out by telling us it was just before the Passover festival. Jesus knew that the hour had come. That hour had come for him to leave this world and to go to the father. And having loved his own who were in the world. He loved them. To the end. Jesus knew what was coming. And he loved them. To the end. Now. I don't know about you.

How would you respond if you were sitting down at a dinner knowing the people around that table are about to betray you? And not only that, they're about to sacrifice everything you've worked and spent the last three years doing. How would you respond? What would you do? All you got to do church is follow me around when I'm driving a car and you can see how I respond when somebody cuts me off. How dare you? Who do you think you are? Just watch me when I'm in a situation where I feel slighted and belittled. When I feel marginalized, like my voice doesn't matter, Right? So I'm at a meeting a couple of weeks ago. It's not a church deal. This was another community group that I'm a part of, right? And I just get taken out behind the woodshed in front of everybody. Inside. Right. How dare you? I'm not the only one who messed up. So did so-and-so. And so did such and such. And they did. Church. How would you deal with a conversation with a group of your friends, people you've shared life with, who you've trusted and they've trusted you back And you know what's about to go under. How would you respond? See, in my little world, I like to separate. Like I want to distance myself. To try to ease some of the pain that comes with knowing that Jesus doesn't do that, He stays present.

He stays present in the moment with those who are with him. He doesn't he doesn't get distracted. His mind didn't start wandering to. Okay, well, well, after the next three days, then this is going to happen. Instead, he stays present in powerful, powerful way. Jesus knew that the father had put all things under his power and that he had come from God and was returning to God. So he got up from the meal and he took off his outer clothing and he wrapped a towel around his waist. And after that he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples feet, drying them with a towel that was wrapped around his waist. Jesus was so present with them. That he knew where he was going and he knew who had sent him and he knew he would return. And so he didn't disconnect. He didn't pull out his phone and wonder what the score of the game was. He just stayed present. And he took off his outer cloak, and he. He became a servant. Now, clearly, Peter is uncomfortable with this, as I imagine most of the disciples would have been. Jesus took the position that a servant would take, that a slave would take, and instead of calling one in to say, Hey, could you take care of this for. Jesus says, No, no, no, no, no. I'm going to take care of this. Fully present. Fully loving.

And fully open. When he had finished washing their feet. Verse 12, he put his clothes on and returned to his place. Do you understand what I have done for you? He asked them. You call me teacher and Lord, and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly, I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them. See. Jesus stayed present in the midst of this dinner conversation. And not only that. Jesus was willing to love them all the way, all the way through. No matter what it would cost him, he was willing. And so he took off his outer garment and he wraps the towel and he washes their feet. So. Church, Let me ask you, where is God challenging you to be more loving in your life these days? Where is he? Pushing back on you to stop and to think about. Your tendency to want to judge to create a little distance. Maybe to distract yourself by pursuing some other gain rather than staying present in a moment because it's difficult and it's hard and it's challenging and somebody's feelings might get hurt and maybe your feelings might get hurt.

But what if you.

Were willing to remember? That there's a God who sent you into the world. And who loves you? And one day you'll get to return to him. And that's never going to change. Nothing can ever steal that from you. Nothing can ever take that from you. And so you didn't have to worry about powering up or proving your worth or your value or managing somebody else's impression. But instead you were free to stay fully present in the moment. So much so that you could be loving. You could be gracious. And not judging that you could stay open to the possibility that there might be something else for you to learn in this conversation. Maybe not the change of value. Maybe not the change, even that perspective that you have a belief. But maybe maybe to change how you see this other group of people. And when you think of us and them, who is the them? Is it possible that God is inviting you to rethink your them? Maybe it's somebody at work. I mean, we all do. I mean, I don't here at church, but you can imagine having a coworker who just annoys the fire out of you, who just says the thing that you're not supposed to say the thing. Or maybe it's at home. Maybe it's a relationship at home. It's a spouse or a kid or a parent or grandparent. Maybe for you. It's at school. You have that teacher, You know the one I mean. You know the one. Or you have that administrator or you have that student. I mean, you know the one and teachers. I'm looking at you because I know you know the one.

Maybe it's a neighbor. Maybe it's someone in an organization that you're a part of. How might God be calling you to be more present this week in that relationship? When you're tempted to distract, when you're tempted to to look for something else, to try to get you out, to say, what if you stayed present? What might God do in that moment? Or when you're tempted to make a judgment to separate them from you. What if instead you said, God, would you help me to see them as a child, that you created someone that you love, even if they're doing things that I completely disagree with, even if they're making choices that I know are going to be destructive to them. God, would you help me to see them as a person, as a real, living, breathing human? Or God. How might you be calling me to stay open? To not come with all the answers, but to be willing to consider. Maybe there's something more for me to learn. Please help me understand. That's how that feels, doesn't it? I mean, that's that's exactly how our spirits feel when we prompt the gods saying, Hey, would you stay open? Would you not fall too quickly into that judgment and instead be more loving? Oh, God. May that be us this week. You see what we need more in the world now, more than ever before is not a bunch of know it alls. What a bunch of love malls that there's no longer an us and a them. It's just us.

It's just us.

And we're learning how to love each other in the midst of that God. May that be true of us this week. Would you help us to learn how to be us again? Father, would you remind us, as you did your son, and may he remind us this week that we have come from you, that you sent us, Lord, as His disciples, that you have sent us into the world to be your ambassadors, to live in such a way that there's a marked difference between how we treat others in this place, but also in the world than than how the world treats them. That doesn't mean we get soft on our beliefs and ideas, but rather. We get more loving and more tender and more kind and more gracious. God, thank you for the people that you've placed in our lives who have loved us that way. In fact, we are here today as a result of that kind of love at work in our lives. Oh, God, may you work that kind of love in us this week, and may we have and make a difference in those that you bring us into contact with. Thank you, Father. Thank you. In Jesus name. Amen.