A Good Father

Message Transcription

Let's begin with a prayer. You might know it. You can say it along with me. Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. Lead us not into transgression, but deliver us from evil. For yours is the kingdom, and the power and the glory forever. Amen. Carl asked me a month ago if I would do a one off on something Father's Day related, if you're willing. It's hard to say no to Karl. He's my friend. But I need to tell you the truth. I think that theme sermons, especially on American holidays, are just a tad shy of being sinful. That's how I was taught. That's how I teach my own students. But I do give grace and say it's okay if you do it every once in a while. Just repent immediately thereafter. At least I thought it was a bad thing until three weeks ago, when I encountered a sermon form only a smidgen shy of demanding true repentance. I'll just set that comment right there and let it drip where it may. Still, I have mad respect for Carl for now. Love you man. Gen Z Bible. Not so much. I'll keep it short this morning. He said infamously. Did you know that the last prophecy in the Old Testament is about fathers and their children? The very last words of Malachi. Look, he says, I am sending you the prophet Elijah, before the great and dreadful day of the Lord arrives.

His preaching will turn the hearts of fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers. Otherwise I will come and strike the land with a curse. Malachi four, verses five and six. I want to tell you two true stories about two fathers. About 25 years ago, I had a student at Lipscomb. I taught there before Beverly and I and our son John moved here. I had a student who was in distress. He had already graduated and he came wanting my advice. He asked about how he could relate to his sister and parents. It's a little warm up here, and I also want you to see my papa's shirt that I got from my grandson this morning. Shameless promotion. My former student had come asking how to relate to a situation in his home. He came from a strong, churchgoing family. His dad was a long time deacon and was being considered as an elder. His sister had graduated from college, gotten a job working with children, had moved out of the home, had gotten a boyfriend, had become pregnant. Her boyfriend left her her job, fired her. And she turned to her parents. They reacted badly. Mother asked, how could you do this to your father? He'll never be an elder now. They demanded that she make the walk of shame. The next church service to go in front of everyone and repent for what she had done, and they told her, we will not support you in any way.

You're on your own. In fact, so strong was their reaction. Then several months later, when the girls at church whom she had babysat wanted to throw her baby a baby shower so that she could have some supplies and provisions, the elders caught wind of it and shut that down hard and said, we will not encourage our young women to think that they can be supported. Whenever they do things like that. The parents pressed her brother to choose them or his sister. His sister, unsurprisingly, turned away from faith. The parents and the congregation upheld their righteousness. Now, before we go too far, I want to say it's a true story. I've recalled the details as well as I can remember them. But I don't in one way. I don't want to be too harsh. If that's possible. I don't want to be too harsh because I understand some of the motivations behind that. I don't agree with them, but I at least understand them, and I suspect that many of us do too. There is a strong desire for us to be moral and upright. And we live in a world that is not that, and it is hard sometimes to respond well. I want to tell you a second story about a father. He had two self-focused sons. The younger one was all kinds of trouble. You know the story. He dishonored his father's existence and said, father, would you just before you die? Not after, but before, would you divide up the inheritance so I can have my part, and I'll take it and I'll go away.

He dishonored his dad's existence incredibly. This is where you know that parable is going to go in a different, unexpected direction. Incredibly, that father said yes. What sort of father? The son abandoned all family responsibility. He left. He went very far away to a far country where no one knew him, where he was carefree, where life was easy, and where every day was mahna. Mahna. Doo doo doo doo doo mahna mahna. Doo doo doo doo. But it didn't stay that way for long. He foolishly spent the inheritance that his father had built up through years of toil and hard work. His sense of no consequences in the moment finally caught up with him in a severe famine. In fact, the young man disowned himself as a Jew. He lost all family pride, all sense of identity. He gave it all up. And he had nothing. He risked going back out of desperation, not repentance. It wasn't his soul that said I've sinned. It was his belly that said, I am hungry, and the slaves in my father's house eat better than I am. So let's try that. And he has a speech planned. Do you know the speech? The speech was this. Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I'm no longer worthy to be called your son. Hire me like one of your slaves.

That was his prepared speech. And he heads home. While he was still a long way off, the father saw him. That father was looking. That father was looking for him. Waiting. Hoping he would return even after he had functionally said, I wish you were dead. And he felt compassion, and he ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said, father, I've sinned against you and against heaven, and I'm no longer worthy to be called your son. What's next? Make me like one of your hired hands. Oops. He doesn't say that. I wonder if he just stopped because he saw how good it was, and maybe he had a bit of entitlement. Maybe he realised maybe I don't have to do that. Often we will suggest that the father interrupted him. What if he didn't? What if the father sat there quietly, waiting to see if there was anything else until the silence got too long? And then finally the father speaks up like the son knows he will, because he's already seen his father's character. Father told his slaves, quickly, bring out the best robe and put it on. Put a ring on his hand. Sandals on his feet. Bring the fatted calf. Kill it. Let us eat and celebrate. This son of mine was dead. He's come to life. He's lost. He's now been found. And they began to celebrate. This, father. This father responded shamefully. You say what he did, he responded shamefully, because in the ancient Near East, a man of such wealth, a middle eastern sheikh, did not run for anything.

But he did. Shameful. He also. Responded dishonorably in the culture's eyes because he welcomed his son back before he repented. He saw him and he ran. He didn't wait for his son to come to him and speak his words. Shameful. This father then dis disinherited him. He reversed the disinheritance by showering him with kisses, by embracing him and giving him his best robe. They've got to go get it. Not the robe he's wearing. Go get my best robe. Go get my signet ring. He is bringing this child fully back. He honored this ungrateful, dishonorable son with a huge everybody is invited days long feast. His other son. How could you do this to the family? The most dishonorable thing, the most dishonorable thing about this compassionate father. That's what we should call it. By the way, the parable of the Compassionate Father. The most dishonorable thing is that this father had no care and concern about his honor or status. All his concern in the moment was for his infamous oh, the people had talked his infamous now returned son. I know families that still are divided. Father from son, son from father. Because of tension in the relationship, because of deep and strong disagreements in the relationship. And as a father and as a grandfather. Fathers hear me. Your Honor is not worth the loss of your child. The honor of your status, your reputation. What people in church might think is not worth the loss of that relationship.

But. God, yes. Yes, but, God, we'll get to see who God is. You know, there's only one really direct instruction to fathers in the whole New Testament as fathers. It comes in two places. We've read one from Colossians 321. Fathers, don't antagonize your children lest they lose heart or become discouraged. And then another one, the parallel from Ephesians chapter six, verse four. Fathers don't antagonize your children, but instead raise them up. And here's my translation raise them up in the curriculum and in the formational instruction about the Lord. Those are some particularly technical terms about raising them up, nourishing them, bringing them up and about training. This is paideia. Paideia was the whole curriculum of how you trained a child. It was the it was everything from soup to nuts, how you train them. And then he says, Paul says that this is the focus of the curriculum and that is the correction, the training them in their will, in their understanding, in their disposition. About the Lord. This is instruction about the Lord. What Paul is saying is that children need to be trained by their fathers to look like the Lord they worship. Both of these fathers. My student's father and the one in the parable. Both of these fathers honored the God they knew and worshiped, and their children learned very carefully. I have to admit, I've been like both fathers at times. I want my children and my grandchildren to grow up to be moral, grateful and honorable people.

But more importantly than that, I want them to grow up to be compassionate. Compassion trumps all of those. As Jesus says in Luke 635, love your enemies. Do good, lend without expecting a return, and you will be children of the Most High. Be kind because he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, as your father is merciful. So what does it mean to bring them up in the training of the Lord? Jesus tells us right here he knows His father and he tells us what that looks like. So fathers. Mothers, grandparents. There are some simple truths here. One point of the parable of the Compassionate Father is meant to drive home is this in the kingdom of God our father does not seek, does not protect, does not demand, does not cultivate, does not curate his own honor. Let that sink in, because their entire theological systems that are built on maintaining the honor of God. You want to see who God is? Jesus shows us. One of Jesus's shocking points is that God is honored by expressions of compassion that seemingly ignore, or should I say, count as dung the things honorable people hold honorable. Especially concerning those who would be estranged and locked out because of their ungrateful, foolish, self-serving consequence avoiding behaviors. I'll say it again. God is honored by expressions of compassion, especially toward those who would be estranged and locked out because of all their bad behavior. Does this rattle us? Just make us uncomfortable. Because there's somewhere in here that it makes me uncomfortable.

Because somewhere in here I don't know where the limits to that are. And I'm thinking to myself, surely there have got to be limits to this, don't there? There have to be. There have got to be limits. We've got to teach our children. We've got to show them what we expect. Surely there's some place for our. For our condemnation, for our judgement. Surely some place we get to fold our arms and say, I told you. I told you, don't do that. I don't know where that limit is, and I don't think this parable is meant to tell us where it is. Here's what I do. See that nowhere in this parable does that father deride shame or guilt trip either one of his sons to the younger son. He acts compassionately without lecture. And to the older son. You remember him? Why are you doing this to me? Why are you doing this to the family? What he does is he articulates the compassion that he has shown, but which that son has been blind to. He simply points him back to his own goodness. That's the antidote. So what about us? What about my former student? I don't know what became of that situation. Other than that, his nephew should now be about 26 years old. I pray that my former student chose to be compassionate to his sister and. To his parents, who were blinded by false honor masquerading as righteousness. And us? I don't know how to show compassion as well as I'd like.

I still manage to find ways to antagonize my children. And grandchildren. I only have one. And my wife and others, much to my dismay. I do know fathers, mothers, grandparents that we are being transformed into the image of the God we know and worship, and we are passing it along to our children and our grandchildren. They see, they hear, they mimic, they remember. So, for God's sake, and for our children's, let us attend to that image very, very carefully. I leave us today with the words that I shared with my student. From Psalm 103. Listen to these words and the lesson is yours. The Lord is compassionate and merciful. He is patient and demonstrates great, loyal love. He does not always accuse, and he does not stay angry. He does not deal with us as our sins deserve. He does not repay us as our misdeeds deserve. For as the skies are high above the earth, so his loyal love towers over those who Revere him. As far as sunrise is from sunset. So he removes the guilt of our rebellious actions from us as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who have mad respect for him. For he knows what we are made of. He remembers. We are only dust. May the God of all compassion and peace. The father of our Lord Jesus Christ, by the power of the spirit, be with us all and say it with me. Amen.