Are You Anxious?

When was the last time you told someone you were uncomfortable or nervous or just a little off?  So many of us have experienced an increase in anxiousness in the past year.  One of the difficulties we all experience with emotions like anxiousness (depression also easily fits in this camp) is that they can be strangely overwhelming. It is hard to believe that one emotion can be so consuming and seems to captivate all of our senses and our mind making it hard to see anything else. Then add to it a world around us that is joining the party, and we may feel controlled by our emotions.

We ask, how do we prevent or stop it? We want to know the trick to keep it at bay or make it go away instantly.

Eliminating certain emotions, regardless of how advantageous it might sound, isn’t as beneficial as one might imagine. The reality is our emotions are part of us. Our emotions are part of God’s original hardwiring, even the ones we would rather avoid.

We like emotions such as love, compassion, and generosity. We understand their value. What is true for these emotions is also true for those we are less eager to welcome like fear, nervousness, and sadness. These emotions are helpful as well as they create space and attention for grief and risks or dangers within ourselves and our environments.

So what if the solution is not eliminating the emotions or trying to ignore them. As I think about my own struggles and those I work with in counseling here are few things I hope will be helpful.

1. Time with the Lord: In the midst of a storm we all need anchors. Making time to read/meditate on scripture, quietly sit with the Lord, or be in conversational prayer through the Spirit helps us find our anchor. He is a good listener.

2. Notice what you can control: Especially with anxiety, one of our more common experiences is a lack of control whether that be in the specific moment or situation we are in or the anticipation of things to come. Making our chaotic world small and noticing what we can control can help calm the chaos.

3. Journaling: When we journal we open ourselves up to looking at our struggles and reality on a new way. Try these options:

a. Short blocks of time: When thinking of anxiousness, think of journaling for 15-20 minutes for 2-3 days in a row.
b. Use a prompt: What are the emotions I experienced today? What is unsettling? What does the enemy (think John 10) tell me about me in this situation?
c. Throw it away when finished: Journals are not for anyone but ourselves. Write to express or narrate your inner world rather than for someone else to read.  When you are finished, throw it away.
d. Be creative: Journaling is about expression. Use colors or pictures when words are hard to find. Being creative gets more of our brain involved and touches a part of us made in the image of God. 

4. Be kind to yourself: We are all going to struggle. Be kind to yourself in the midst of your struggle. Show yourself the same compassion you would show someone you love.

5. Notice emotions when they are smaller: Generally, our emotions are not light switches. (I say generally, because there are situations in which strong emotions can be triggered by a single unexpected event.) However, most of the emotions we experience start small and grow (think of the bell curve). One helpful tool in emotional regulation is to work to see our emotions when they are on the smaller end of the curve. A little bit of anxiousness is much easier to address than a mountain sized amount. Pay attention to difficulty in concentrating, increased heart rates or rising blood pressure, tightened gut, or tense shoulders.

6. Identify your emotions: There is power in naming the emotions we experience. Spiritually it is part of the process of bringing things from the darkness or from being hidden into the light. Biologically, it is about bringing awareness and attention which allows our brain to examine and explore the narrative trapped within the emotions.

7. Find time to rest: It is hard not to just try to push through and find the strength. Significant increases in stress require more energy and resources. In order to have those resources we need to reduce some activities and make time to rest. Rest can be found in sleep or in something creative.

8. Be present in the moment: Anxiety often pulls us into the future “what ifs.” Drawing our attention to the present moment can help reduce the amplitude of our spinning minds. Taking a few intentional deep breaths and then noticing three different things perceivable through your senses can help connect you to the present moment.

9. Find spaces to laugh and play: Anxiety is often weighty and serious. Laughter and play are ways in which we can intentionally move against the heaviness that comes with stress and nervousness. Knowing what makes you laugh and places to play before the anxiety is high increases your chances of finding your way to them when stressed.

We all experience times of stress, worry, anxiousness, fear, depression, and sadness.

Experiencing these emotions simply means we are human. The grace of God in these spaces is that they are not all that we experience and that they do not have to be the loudest voices in our heads.  These are some tools and rhythms that can help us when they are loud.

There are also other tools available. One of those is counseling. We all need others to help us on the journey. If we can help you please let us know.

Remember you are God’s child and created out of His love.